The new year brings with it numerous resolutions to improve one’s life in many areas, including romance, finances and even sex. More often than not, some of these desired commitments take a back seat to others that appear to be less challenging to approach. Sex lives seem to receive the least attention of all resolutions, but by remembering not to make these five common sexual mistakes in the new year you can lead a healthy and sustaining sex life in 2019.
1. Ditching the condom
Too many people forego the safer sex method and ditch the condom without speaking about it or without getting tested with their partners. Not only does this put one at risk for catching a STD but this also puts one at risk for unwanted pregnancy. Before deciding to practice “skin to skin” sex, speak to your partner about recent STD results and other birth control options. STDs are prevalent in the African-American community especially herpes, HPV and HIV which all currently have no published or known cure, according to the CDC, so choose to practice safer sex.
2. Assuming Your Sex “Skills” Are The Best
Just because your skills worked on the last person, doesn’t mean they will work for the next person too, especially when it comes to sex. Most men and women who enjoy it say that communication is the best way to make sure your mate is pleased.
Communication may be basic, but so necessary. Neither one of you can read each other’s mind during sex, so speak up if there’s something that you want that he’s not delivering. There are tons of ways to verbalize it if you feel a little tongue tied, like “It’s so hot when you…” or “I’d love it if you’d try…”
3. Assuming someone is STD free
STDs are asymptomatic and most people take on the role of assuming a person is free of infection because there are no symptoms present, but this is the worst assumption one can make. Before entering into a sexual experience with a new partner or with a previous partner that you may have been away from for a period of time, make the commitment to get tested together not only for your safety but to have a more pleasurable experience.
4. Assuming your partner knows how to please you
Both men and women tend to go into sexual situations assuming the other knows how to put on the moves to make the experience completely satisfying, but this isn’t always the case. To ensure your sexual experiences are pleasurable this year, get into the habit of speaking to your partner about your turn ons and turn offs. Let your partner know what he or she needs to do in order to take you to the place of ecstasy you seek. Communication will now and forever be a key component of healthy and satisfying sexual relations.
5. Keeping quiet about dissatisfaction
When a sexual experience has been less than pleasurable (see #3!), many tend to keep their opinions to themselves, but when in a long-term relationship with a partner this behavior is far from beneficial. Instead of keeping your dissatisfaction a secret from your beloved, take a stand and make the decision to talk to your partner about your desire to be completely satisfied by him or her and talk about ways to solve the issue. Make sure to bring the problem to your partner in a non-threatening way (telling someone they are inadequate in the sex department can deflate an ego quickly).